New Year, New Focus: Making This Year About Me

New Years Eve Party at The Swizzle Stick Bar & Almost Home 

I’ve never been a fan of “New Year’s resolutions.” Honestly, I’ve always found the idea of waiting until the calendar flips to make a change a bit arbitrary. Plus, I’m not exactly a holiday enthusiast. My husband and I joke that I’m the literal Grinch. The holidays have never felt the same for me, and I know a lot of it comes from past trauma. Sure, I still show up for family Christmas, do what’s expected, but ever since my mom got sick 15 years ago, something shifted in me. Honestly, I think it all started when my parents divorced 25 years ago, and that’s when Christmas began losing its spark.

So here I am again, at the end of another year, still unsure if I want to make any resolutions. I can’t help but wonder if I’m just setting myself up for failure. After the chaos and upheaval I’ve faced this past year, I know something needs to change. I’m still carrying the weight of feeling like I’ve failed in some ways, especially after everything at work. The idea of setting a goal like “lose ten pounds” doesn’t really resonate with me—not that I need to lose weight right now—but I know I need something different. Something simpler: “Be kinder to myself.” I’ve spent far too long being my own worst critic—constantly berating myself, pushing myself too hard, never giving myself grace.

If there’s one resolution I’m willing to make, it’s this: This year, I’m going to make it about me. I’ve spent so much of my life prioritizing everyone else’s needs over my own that I’m ready to turn that around. Lately, I’ve been exploring new activities that bring me joy—things that make me feel alive—and I want to do more of that this year. I’m thinking about going to more concerts, maybe even a rave (I’ve never been, but it looks like an experience I’d love). The idea of immersing myself fully in the moment, without worrying about being perfect or meeting expectations, feels like exactly what I’ve been missing.

This past year, I focused all my energy on being the best for everyone else—trying to excel at work, making sure I was there for others—and in the process, I lost myself. I was so consumed with meeting other people’s needs that I didn’t make time to care for my own. It wasn’t until my mental health hit rock bottom and I ended up in rehab that I was forced to face the truth: I’d neglected myself for far too long.

So this year, I’m focusing on change—not for anyone else, but for me. I’m taking a step back, reclaiming my time, and learning how to be kinder to myself. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I know this: It’s time to make my own needs a priority, and that’s the change I’m ready for.


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